Greenside

Greenside from Zero Trooper on Vimeo.

Check out this short film I filmed in Chicago a few years ago... lots of cool action!

Living within a crumbling city rife with disease are Jackson and Acacia. Every day poses a struggle as Jackson attempts to prevent Acacia from succumbing to an illness. Unfortunately, the only cure lies deep within Greenside, a heavily fortified biodome guarded by the Zero Troopers, where the city's privileged and powerful live a safe and comfortable life...

Movie Review: "Chocolate"

No, not the foreign movie with Johnny Depp. This one comes from the director of the awesome "Ong-Bak" movies starring Tony Jaa. I checked this movie out last week on my XboxLive Netflix instant stream. The movie had a unique plot (girl with autism fights to save her sick mother), AWESOME fight scenes, and it was funny too!

I don't know who the girl is, but she did an amazing job acting and especially with all the action sequences. She fights better than most guys in action movies, you have to watch it to believe it!

I give "Chocolate" 8 ninja stars out of 10

Movie Review: "Street Fighter:Legend of Chun-Li"

I like dumb movies. Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison, Tommy Boy, Wayne's World, and Napoleon Dynamite are all movies that should have won Best Picture at the Oscar's in my opinion. Throw in martial arts action and "Street Fighter:Legend of Chun-Li" should have been my all-time favorite movie.

I had heard and read reviews calling this movie a piece of crap and I refused to believe them until I saw it firsthand. I can now wholeheartedly agree with everyone else. It's like the producers knew this movie was gonna suck and didn't care. You know when you watch a movie and there are sometimes little mistakes like there is a cup on the table in one shot and in the next it magically disappears? This whole movie is like that. It's like they did this stuff on purpose. There's a scene where Chun-Li (Kristen Kreuk of Smallville fame) is playing a piano concert and it was obviously a greenscreen shot. The audience looked worse than some of the old generation crowd's in Madden Football. They didn't even move!

The entire movie seemed like it was a voiceover of Chun Li's voice. I think they may have tried to do that to cover up all the holes in the writers' plot and also to have less acting by the actors. There was this really awkwardly placed scene in the movie where Chun Li has a lesbionic moment with one of the bad girls in the movie in a dance club. Chun Li seduced this girl on the dance floor with some gyrating moves and lured her into the bathroom where she proceeded to kick the crap out of her. It was really strange, and usually that sort of thing would be one of the positives of a movie! Also, Chun Li's mom looked younger than her when she was on her deathbed! Also, the young versions of Chun Li in the flashback scenes went from full Asian, to kind of Asian, back to full Asian, then to half Asian. I can't even remember all the horrible things that made it into this movie! Not to mention Chris Klein's acting performance. I don't even remember his character's name. He was like a character from a bad 80's cop movie... but worse. The martial arts scenes were okay, nothing special though.

Simply put, this movie was more fragmented and poorly put together than this movie review I just spat out of my gullet. Wow.

Street Fighter : Legend of Chun-Li gets 2 ninja stars out of 10.

I really need to review a good movie next time....

It's not WHAT you do, it's how you DO it

In life, this phrase holds true as it does in martial arts. Who cares if you can do a triple twisting quadruple flipping dolphin spin kick??? I can make a side kick look better   ;P

Martial Arts Supply Workers = Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons?

Today I went into the local martial arts supply shop and bought a pair of escrima sticks. Can't wait to start choreographing a giant fight where everyone fights with sticks.

Anyways, this supply shop (i will leave them anonymous for their own protection) seems to be like any other martial arts supply shop I've ever been to. Now, I 've only really been to like 5 in my life including in Minnesota but bear with me. Blah blah blah I am going to cut straight to the point. ALL EMPLOYEES / OWNERS ARE OUT OF SHAPE AND DO NOT PRACTICE MARTIAL ARTS!!!! Okay, that's a bit of a generalization but that has been my experience.

I was talking to the lady about stuff and I asked: "Where do you train?" She replied with something like this: "Well, I don't train but we've all dabbled here and there in the martial arts..."

That translates into.... "I never really took classes but I've always been fascinated with ninja stars, nunchucks, and Chuck Norris."

Being an expert in martial arts is not a prerequisite in owning or working in a martial arts shop but it is helpful. Hmmmm, maybe I will get a job at a knitting factory.

Dragonball Evolution Review

So ummm I just watched "Dragonball: Evolution" Starring Justin Chatwin, Chow Yun Fat, Jamie Chung, and Emmy Rossum.

I have never been into the anime that the movie was based on, I

just wanted to watch it because it seemed to have at least some cool action scenes in it. I was wrong, and I wasted a few hours of my life watching this. It's not the worst movie I've ever seen, but it wasn't good... at all.

The movie is another prime example of a big problem in Hollywood. Studio execs must not trust that an Asian actor can carry a movie. So what do they do? They hire a Caucasian actor to portray a character that is clearly Asian:

This happens way too much. They should have hired that Mike Moh guy. haha.

Anyways, you can watch this movie if you're totally bored or if you've got something to distract you while you watch it.

Daily Dojo gives "Dragonball:Evolution" 3 ninja stars out of 10

Honorary Ninja

This is moments before Brett Favre chopped Aaron Rodgers in the neck.

Brett Favre deserves to be an honorary Ninja for his dismantling of the Packers yesterday. There is nothing honorable about stabbing a former team in the back, but it's the Packers!!! So.. I am rewarding him with the honorable title of Football Ninja.